This week was full of craft! And I loved it. Since moving to Nebraska almost a year ago, all the things I used to love doing have taken a backseat. Like crafting. And tutorials. And blogging more. And my Etsy shop. And weekly coffee shop dates with my best friend. And more. I guess I was sorta naive to think that, after trekking 1200 miles from the Northwest to the Midwest, my surroundings would be the only thing that would change. I have lots of new responsibilities now, a new daily schedule. I have a new job. New pressures. New hurdles. New mountains. Creative muscles I never knew I had are being used. Emotions I have never felt, have surfaced. Simply put: I'm learning to adjust to a different rhythm that, honestly, I'm having a hard time adjusting to.
Many windows in my home sport bare rods. No curtains. There are walls & walls with nothing on them. That is just not me. I would normally find something to slap on the wall. Sass up the space! Drape something--anything--on the windows! It is a fact that I know we're supposed to be here. Yet, I've had an unsettled feeling for a whole year. I can't help but take notice of how chaotic my life feels. I am unbalanced. Unorganized to the max. Unable to maintain weekly assignments. Constantly overwhelmed & not quite able to keep up with even the simple daily to-do's. I've fought hard to keep some kind of order. But instead, disorder has shown up. I even feel like I can't be the person I need to be for my children, my husband.
Gosh, this sounds super depressing. But I'm getting somewhere. I have a point...
I have been in constant conversation (a.k.a. "prayer") with God about this. Why, God? Why do I feel this way? And He said to me,
"You have not made your house your home."
Something as simple as hanging curtains can transform your emotions. Slapping some paint on a junky piece of furniture can alter your attitude. Decorating your walls with happy artwork can make you....well, happy! All of those things do that for me anyway. That is my language.
I guess I just got in a funk & lost myself somewhere between here &...somewhere else.
Oh, sure, I'm all happy & jolly & friendly & silly still. But it's my insides that were all-of-a-jumble. And my home & private personal life reflected this as well.
Where is the Nikki that used to have a power-tool project going on in the garage & who crafted tutorials & made constant messes with her kids & baked cookies while dancing around the house and singing songs into an empty toilet paper roll tube---all at the same time?
She's Back.
I have to make time for my home---which means, making it a happy place for myself, my man & my kids. Both in appearance & in heart.
I'm grateful that while I've quietly stumbled about this past year, life has not all been woe-is-me. I love my new friends: forever & for reals & for all the time. And I love the adventures I get to go on every week. I love all the new things my famly has gotten to do. We've already had a lifetime of experiences squished into just a teeny bit of living.
I don't really have a superb ending to all this.
That's all.
That's it.
My personal moment.
Out loud.
Many windows in my home sport bare rods. No curtains. There are walls & walls with nothing on them. That is just not me. I would normally find something to slap on the wall. Sass up the space! Drape something--anything--on the windows! It is a fact that I know we're supposed to be here. Yet, I've had an unsettled feeling for a whole year. I can't help but take notice of how chaotic my life feels. I am unbalanced. Unorganized to the max. Unable to maintain weekly assignments. Constantly overwhelmed & not quite able to keep up with even the simple daily to-do's. I've fought hard to keep some kind of order. But instead, disorder has shown up. I even feel like I can't be the person I need to be for my children, my husband.
Gosh, this sounds super depressing. But I'm getting somewhere. I have a point...
I have been in constant conversation (a.k.a. "prayer") with God about this. Why, God? Why do I feel this way? And He said to me,
"You have not made your house your home."
Something as simple as hanging curtains can transform your emotions. Slapping some paint on a junky piece of furniture can alter your attitude. Decorating your walls with happy artwork can make you....well, happy! All of those things do that for me anyway. That is my language.
I guess I just got in a funk & lost myself somewhere between here &...somewhere else.
Oh, sure, I'm all happy & jolly & friendly & silly still. But it's my insides that were all-of-a-jumble. And my home & private personal life reflected this as well.
Where is the Nikki that used to have a power-tool project going on in the garage & who crafted tutorials & made constant messes with her kids & baked cookies while dancing around the house and singing songs into an empty toilet paper roll tube---all at the same time?
She's Back.
I have to make time for my home---which means, making it a happy place for myself, my man & my kids. Both in appearance & in heart.
I'm grateful that while I've quietly stumbled about this past year, life has not all been woe-is-me. I love my new friends: forever & for reals & for all the time. And I love the adventures I get to go on every week. I love all the new things my famly has gotten to do. We've already had a lifetime of experiences squished into just a teeny bit of living.
I don't really have a superb ending to all this.
That's all.
That's it.
My personal moment.
Out loud.
For a photo play-by-play click HERE.
♥
Thanks for saying that. No, really. You described the "internal upset" - when life just isn't quite gelling - quite well. And, well, it's nice to know I'm not alone and it's nice to see that you're coming out of it. Have fun making your house a home. Can't wait to see it come together!
ReplyDeleteOh I know that feeling of things not quite being right so well! But God is bigger than us and he always has an answer for us however silly or insignificant the question/worry/feeling seems!
ReplyDeleteI hope that making your house a home will bring lots of fun and happiness for all the family and maybe a little bit of order can be found in all of the chaos!
Claire xx