Settling.

I feel like I'm finally beginning to settle, after moving a month ago, & recently having my family for a lovely lengthy visit. There are still a few boxes left to unpack. And pictures & things to hang on some walls. But nothing that is urgent or frantic or overwhelming. 

Yesterday the laundry had me in its grip. But in between static cling & emptying the lint tray, I baked cupcakes, arranged flowers & watched episodes of Storage Wars. Even with the laundry thrown in the mix, doesn't that still sound like a grand way to spend the afternoon? 

"Is that your normal routine?" you ask.

I don't think it is. But I'm not sure yet.

I'm kind of wondering what this new life in North Platte will bring me. I am waiting for whatever the normal routine may be. I'm wondering what schedule will fill my day.

You see, before my move to Bridgeport, almost 3 years ago, I had a system of doing things. It was very mellow & not filled with much urgency, but it was my regularity. I crafted most days & did loads of fun tutorials for the blog. I played with my kids, hung out with friends & went on weekly coffee dates with Tia. I had an occasional Girls Night Out. I visited my mom & grandmother almost every day. 

When the family & I made the whirlwind move to Bridgeport, I thought I'd simply be "relocating", & continuing to do the things I previously did. After fighting with that untruth, I finally gave in to a new rhythm of doing new things. I was trying to fit puzzle pieces into the wrong puzzle, & it just wasn't working. So I let go of my old routine, my customary way of operating. And, though it was painful & distressing, I even let go of some of the things I enjoyed doing, to take on other responsibilities, mostly having to do with my new role as a pastor's wife. It was very frustrating that the creative life I once lived was being interrupted. I was mad. And sad. 

I wasn't able to craft as much as I hoped to. Tutorials went by the wayside. Of course there were no visits to mom or grandma, or even coffee dates with Tia. I was a lonely, non-crafter in this new small-town world.

But then suddenly, an amazing job at the newspaper dropped into my lap, I even got my own weekly column to write! I was able to explore this writing passion of mine & have grown leaps & bounds because of it. I met a special friend, one of my now favorite people of all time, & experienced adventure after adventure with her. My photography amped up. I learned to knit. I baked & cooked more. I started Crafty Night. I also did so many things I never thought I would ever enjoy doing: attended high school sporting events on a regular basis, took photos on the sidelines of a Chadron State football game, went kayaking & shooting.

The creative part of my life wasn't lying dormant, it just presented itself in unexpected ways into my new daily routine.

And now, as you know, we've moved again. But I'm smarter this time around. I already know that the things I once did in Bridgeport might not continue to be a part of my life: I might not be able to go on mad adventures every week, or attend high school sporting events. Crafty Night will most likely be put on hold indefinitely. I definitely don't have my job at the paper or write my weekly column anymore. I don't have access to a kayak. Or friends with guns. 

So, I'm putting on my best "go with the flow" face & waiting for what happens.

I have learned that I can't fight the changes. I have to be willing to change too.

If I try to force things a certain way, I'm likely to get tired of trying &, ultimately, disappointed.

Who knows, maybe floral arranging will become a typical monthly venture. And yet that laundry...it's the same wherever I go.

♥